Monthly Archives: June 2012

Fun Friday at it’s most Random…


Happy Friday! This morning I was thinking about my friend Alex, who recently explained to me where the term “Balls to the Wall” came from. He says” way back in the day, during an early war, when submarines were being used. On the underneath side of the sub toward the back there were two large metal balls used to propel the sub. When the operator wanted to go the metal balls would start to spin. The faster the sub went the faster the balls would spin causing them to push apart from each other. When the submarine was at it’s fastest the balls would be spinning so fast they would be pushed up to the wall of the sub! And there you have it: Balls to the Wall!!!

I’m telling you this because I have repeated this story a few times, and honestly, people are really impressed by this useless knowledge! So next time you’re at a kegger or company party you can repeat it and sound super smart!! Here are some more awesome random facts for you!

This is really cool: Tried and true uses of Avon Skin-So-Soft

1. It’s original purpose: a great bath oil and after shower moisturizer
2. Removes makeup
3. It’s a great tanning oil.
4. Use as a hot oil treatment for cuticles
5. It’s an insect repellent for people and pets
6. Helps relieve itching caused by insect bites
7. Sponge it around doors and windows to screens to keep out insects.
8. It’s a good wood cleaner and conditioner for natural wood.
9  Use it to dust with.
10. Removes price tag glue and gum from glass,metal and most plastic.
11. Cleans your kitchen fixtures and makes them shine
12. Cleans band aid tape marks from your skin.
13. Cleans ink from skin, vinyl and most painted surfaces.
14. Cleans heavy oil and grease from skin and nonporous surfaces.
15, Removes soap scum from shower door, curtains and windows
16. Makes your bathroom shine all over.
17. Use the floral Skin So Soft for a great smell.
18. Removes lime and hard water spots from fixtures.
19. Removes tar from your car without damage to paint
20. Lubricates pipe fittings that won’t readily fit together
21. Takes paint off your hands.
22. Helps keep mosquitoes off.
23. Bathe your pet in it or spray it or spray it on to repel fleas.
24. Apply to pet’s feet and legs so that ticks won’t stick
25. Cleans your soap dishes and soap won’t stick.
The Greeks believed that certain stones had special powers. Amethyst, for instance, was believed to prevent drunkenness. The name of the stone comes from the Greek words a (“not”) and methystos (“drunken”).
In 1894, while employed by the Battle Creek Sanitarium in Michigan, Dr. John Harvey Kellogg tried to find a way to provide a palatable and inexpensive meal to feed his charges. When he accidentally left some boiled wheat unattended, it went stale. He tried to save it by rolling it into dough, but discovered that it tore into pieces and refused to hold a shape. So he and his brother decided to toast the flakes…and the rest is history.
While both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, according to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game,male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers until after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa’s reindeer, every single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen – had to be a girl. We should’ve known. Only women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.
In Los Angeles, you cannot bathe two babies in the  same tub at the same time.
Fifty four percent of Americans fold their toilet tissue neatly while 35 percent wad it into a ball before using it.
Little boys were dressed in blue long before little girls were dressed in pink. In ancient times, male babies were dressed in blue because the color was believed to ward off evil spirits; girls got whatever was handy.
There you have it people…Go out and sound smart this weekend!!!

“Finder” Perception.


It’s been awhile since I wrote. Sorry for that. You see for those of you who actually know me, you know me to have UN-shakable optimism and to be annoying positive. This last week I just wasn’t feeling that. And I hate to disappoint, so I took a little break to get it together.

This blog though, isn’t about my trials but more about overcoming them. I got some bad news last Thursday. It kind of broke my heart, actually and for the first time in a very long time, I felt as though I had lost every ounce of hope & faith in my whole body. I felt empty, hopeless, weak and lost. I felt like at that very moment in time I had turned jaded. I had to leave work because I was such a mess. Crying & crying & crying…. I’m really not sure how to explain this but no matter what’s wrong with me: headache, heart break, financial trouble, ect: The moment I’m around my lil’ spawns, it all goes away. I feel needed & fulfilled & happy. So anyway, later that day I got to spend some quality time with my lil’ spawns and I forgot about the awful news I had received earlier. The next morning, by the grace of God, my hope and faith had been restored, and I turned that negative energy into fuel to do something positive.

I’m not really sure what the topic is going to be here, either perspective OR the power of positive thinking… I suppose really they go hand in hand, don’t they? I mean if you are able to look at things from a different perspective it may look much more positive? How you view the world around you is also creating what you believe and how you act or react to certain situations. Don’t you think if you think positivity into reality you would totally perceive things differently??

Give this a try?? The photo below is called a finder, print it off, or even sketch it. The finder is a tool to help see different perspectives. Cut it out and take it with you. Use it to view familiar places or people (they’ll probably think your crazy) but anyway, hold it up and look through it… I’m guessing you’ll notice things you didn’t before. I’m not going to lie, it’s kinda fun and it’s a great way to start trying for seeing things in a positive perspective. Have fun my friends!

Throwing stones in a Glass House.


Dear X,

We have spoken briefly, only for half an hour or so, about two years ago. Yet, you think you know me? All you know about me is the rumors you hear, you judge me because the way I look, you have stamped my forehead as anAddict . Which I believe you think means I’m trash, a horrible person… I’m not. You say I’m honeymooning because I choose to be optimistic. You say I’m inconstant…..  You’ve only spoke to me once. How can you make judgments about me? Your job is to investigate, unbiasedly, yet you haven’t made one call to anyone who would speak positively on my behave.

Being an addict doesn’t mean I’m a bad person, in my case, I was a good person who did something very bad, I was sick. Being an addict is like having aids or diabetes, it’s a disease, a sickness. It needs to be monitored. You have to medicate it, which I do, everyday. Attending 12 step meetings, meditation, reading, & doing daily affirmations

I’m sick and tired of working ridiculously hard to prove to you that my head is on straight, and that I am a good person. I’m done with you. Even after I’ve tried several times, you will not get to know me. So, every day I will continue to work on being a better person than I was yesterday. I will continue to be annoyingly optimistic and bubble, because that’s who I am . I am receliant and strong and determined to grow everyday into a better woman, and if you want to call that honeymooning, than go for it.

You wanted a reality check: Here is your reality check. You are lazy. Instead of showing pride in your work, you make up things and go off of hear- say. You are NOT in high school! You are way to old to be doing this “mean girls” thing. You are UN-professional. You are mean and closed minded. I can only pray that someday you learn kindness, and someday you can see past the end of your nose.

Party INSIDE the box.


Chasing an invisible dragon for me is a lot like trying to find love. I’ve heard about it but never had it (man & woman relations only I’m speaking of). I have friends that say they have  it. A couple sets of Aunts and Uncles that I know have it.  I know in my own life, I have thought many times that I did have it by the tail, but just like an invisible dragon, poof, it’s nowhere in sight. Maybe that bond between man & woman that we call love, just simply does not exist for everyone? In my own case I have some theories:

(RELATED TANGENT, I promise) A few months ago, my Mom (the most caring, patient, kind woman ever) sat me down for one of those Mother/ Daughter “serious” talks.  She started out by saying that she loves how creative I am. She loves my attitude on life and that I am not scared of what other people think of me. But, she often worries about me. She worries that I may think “too far outside the box”. I was of course, upset by this upon impact, and we got into a little tiff. My Mom, she’s a smart lady though. After trying to think this through in her perspective, I could easily see where she was coming from. She worries how people will respond to me and my purple hair, my body of tattoos, and the piercings in my face. She worries that my appearance will close doors for me, and other related stuff like that, and I can understand that.

If you’re wondering why I went off into that story, here’s why: It makes a lot of sense for me to think that if in fact I do think “too far” outside the box, it would make it nearly impossible to ever find someone that could relate to me on any level close to love. I think to love someone in that special way, you certainly have to understand them. My thinking out side the box so far means I probably think on a whole other plane, like a distant galaxy than most people. So it is my belief that because of this and being unable to change the person I am or the way my brain is wired: I must accept the inevitable.

Love for me is like chasing an invisible dragon. I will undoubtedly learn to make the best of this because that’s just the way I am, but for now, life is a little lonely outside the box.

Count your Blessings & Fight your Jabberwocky.


There is a part toward the end of the new Alice in Wonderland, where she starts her battle with the Jabberwocky. She is scared and un-confident that she can defeat him. Her outlook on the task at hand looks impossible. Then, she says to her self: “I did six impossible things before breakfast this morning” and she starts to count them off out loud to herself and she engages in battle. With each item she lists, she grows more  confident…

When I watch that part it always speaks to me in some weird way, and so I have adapted this practice into my daily life. Only instead of listing out impossible things I did that day, I list out my top 10 blessings, out loud.

When something happens to us that affect us negatively it is easy to let those feelings consume us, and hold on to them. It may be something small or something big…but I suppose when we hang onto those negative feelings it always feels big, anyhow, those feelings can be sometimes hard to shake off. So for cases like this, instead of just accepting that ” This is the Worst day EVER”, I simply start my count down. And just like Alice, which each thing I say out loud, the happier I start to feel. After all, how could anyone still feel sad, upset, or angry after they had just heard 10 very special and honorable things that specifically pertain to them?

I urge you to try this for yourself, what harm could it do?? Everyone’s list will be different, but absolutely no one should have trouble coming up with at least 10 things they are blessed to have!!! Here are my top 10:

10) Sunshine

9) Forgiveness

8) Creative Freedom

7) Hope & Faith

6) Special Friends: Who get me.

5) A supportive Family

4) My Sobriety

3) The sound of laughter in my home.

2) Such a kind, strong and patient Mother.

1) Health: Family, friends, and myself.

Lack of Love for a Purple Head.


So I told you before, about one of my character flaws or “yuckies” I call them, which is being Voracious. For this purpose, let’s say specifically for love or affection. Now, previously I was talking about how, I ruin relationships, because I start needing more affection, more time, and ect. 

Well I recently read one of those little status pictures on Facebook, which I tried to find again for you, but no luck. It was talking about “If you miss me then you’d find time to let me know. If you wanted to see me than you would.” kind of thing. And, I got to thinking: “Maybe there isn’t anything wrong with me?” I mean I always make time to let the other person know that I am missing them, or thinking of them. I go out of my way to see them or let them know how special they are.

And yes, maybe I could use a piece of humble pie, but if I wasn’t me, I’d want to hang out with me all the time. I’m funny, quick witted, charming (I’d like to think) and super affectionate.  I make an effort to make the person I am with feel special and let them know how much I enjoy them…is that too much to expect the same in return? Should I lower my expectations just because I haven’t met anyone that meets them?? Is it too much to ask for constant validation in exchange for my love?

I think not.

So don’t tell me how much you missed me only when I see you. If your not going to text or call all day long, do not text me at bed time how much you thought about me. If you do miss me: tell me. If you want to spend time with me, than do it. And if all of that is too much to ask: just let me go.

A hearts desire

The greatest gift.


The greatest gift you can give to yourself, is to learn how to let go.

“To let go does not mean to stop caring,
it means I can’t do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off,
it’s the realization I can’t control another.
To let go is not to enable,
but allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means
the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another,
it’s to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to care for,
but to care about.
To let go is not to fix,
but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their destinies.
To let go is not to be protective,
it’s to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny,
but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue,
but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.”      ~Author Unknown

We have this tenancy to grip onto the cracking foundation of things in our life that are falling apart. We hold onto tiny treasure that remind us of failed relationships. Mementos of those we have lost.  We stay in relationships that we know we shouldn’t. We hold onto things that cause us pain, I think because the thought of changing or letting go sounds so hard.

You know what learning to let go is hard. It may at first feel as though you are giving up, that you have failed, but that is not the case. It takes so much more love and courage to let go of something, than it does to hang on for dear life. It is very hard to do at first, but like most things in life the more you practice it the easier it gets. You must believe that you can give it to God. You must have a heart full of love, and if you have these things, you can accomplish letting go of things. Being able to let go allows you to have more open and inviting space to let good things into your life. I think it allows for fate to step in and to move things forward as they should. It will give you faith, hope, and you will feel brave.

As an addict, I held onto so many things. I basically became a hoarder when it came to craft supplies, always thinking “someday I might need it for a project”. I held onto lies. I held onto my troubles, me fear, hatred. Do you know where that got me…..nowhere. Holding onto all that was just like being rooted into the ground, like a tree. I was gripping on so tightly to everything around me, I couldn’t move anymore. Eventually I had throw my hands up in the air, and release everything that I was holding onto, everything that was holding my down. I had to relearn that I deserved more than what I was holding onto and so did the people around me. Once I was feeling more free, confident and faithful, I started to let go of lots of things… and it felt Amazing.

If you hate your job, are in a bad relationship, have trouble or anything else…. Let go.

Learn it, practice it, and believe you deserve it. I promise you: You will live a happier and healthier life.

Kindness Revolution.


Often times in our life we are walking around like zombie thinking of all the things that we need to do: dishes, laundry, projects for work, ect. Or we are dealing with whatever mood or emotion we have going on…and little do we know, we are wearing all this on our face. When we are busy fumbling around in our own head, we are not living in the moment, but more a few hours from now. Anyway, I’m getting off topic but I’d like for you to keep this in your mind because ultimately it is all relevant.

This has been coming to my attention more and more these days that people are just not considerate of others anymore. Maybe in this day and age people in general just don’t care about anything beyond their own nose, or maybe people are just stuck in their own head but either way we are facing a HUGE lack of consideration for our fellow man and it is far time we start a Kindness Revolution!

Have you ever heard the phrase: “Fake it ill you make it”? Well I challenge you, to try this. If you are not kind or considerate naturally, or if you have taken a been there far too long vacation into your own head, ” Fake it till you make it” Fake your consideration, fake your kindness….and I’m betting if you are successful at this challenge eventually you won’t have to fake it. You will start being kind naturally and the world will be that much better of a place.

Doing things for others – whether small, unplanned acts or regular volunteering – is a powerful way to boost our own happiness as well of those around us. The people we help may be strangers, family, friends, colleagues or neighbours. They can be old or young, nearby or far away. Kindness towards others is be the glue which conncts individual happiness with wider community and societal wellbeing. Also, kindness and caring also seem to be contagious. When we see someone do something kind or thoughtful, or we are on the receiving end of kindness, it inspires us to be kinder ourselves.

When someone looks you in the eye, smile and say Hello. Wave when someone let’s you in. Hold the door, and if someone does it for you, say thank you. Always show your gratitude.  Look for the good in those around you. Get to know our elderly. Give 3 compliments each day. Tell a public service employee how valuable they are. Strike up a conversation with someone who looks like they need a friend. GIVE HUGS. Help someone with a chore, unexpectedly. Pick up trash when you see it! Smile! And say hello to 5 strangers. Give away something important to you. Move the newspaper to your neighbors front door, inside the screen if it’s raining. Call your Mother! Donate. Hold the door for mommies with strollers (those things are a pain to get in and out).

These are all little things that require little time and effort but make such a huge impact on people. Let’s face it we have all saw the movie “Pay it Forward” and remember the Coke commercials where one person did something nice for someone, then that person for the next and so on… That really happens people. So don’t think of your one act of kindness as just that. Your one act of kindness could lead to fifty acts of random kindness. The little things you do today can and will start a Kindness Revolution.

You do make difference. You do!

Larum and Heather

Learning is FUN!


During the last several years, I have been super busy, having babies, ruining relationships, ect, ect… During which time, I lost myself. I forgot, not so much, who I was, or what I stand for, but I forgot what Heather likes. Now that I got sober (a year and 11 months now) , my kiddos are getting a bit more independent, and I have a bit more free time, I was learning that I don’t have any hobbies.  What is it that I enjoy???

So I recently set out on a mission. A mission to try lots of new things, to see what it is that I enjoy. I have to tell you so far, everything that I have wet my feet with, I’ve totally enjoyed. One of the first exciting things I got myself into was learning to ride a Ripstik which was super fun & exciting but left me with a hole in my chin and multiple bruises! Anyway that’s a whole other story for another time.

Then, I got myself a bow and some arrows! Learning to shoot with a bow and arrow was always something that I wanted to do, but like many other things in my life, I put off. I figured what better time then now. Especially with a Zombie Apocalypse coming!!! On the first day I brought it home, my little brother kind of took it over, but he did make me a pretty cool target, which I spray painted a zombie on! The first draw I took I snapped my inner bicep, which hurt like a b*t** but I wasn’t really phased. The next shot snapped back on me too, only this time it was on my inner forearm. This one instantly started swelling up and busing.  After a few more shots I learned that if I gave my bow a gansta lean it wouldn’t snap on me, and….it just looked cooler! It wasn’t long before I was sticking the arrows straight through the ply wood, right onto the zombie’s heart!!!

This hobby may be a keeper for me! It a little less dangerous than my Ripstik, but still dangerous enough to keep me interested. Plus it is a pretty good work-out. And, best of all it totally makes me feel like a bad *ss.



Dear Facebook,


Thank you for all the wonderful things you do.  Living in Illinois and being an Oklahoma native my family is very far away. Over the years you and I have been together, you have helped rekindle those long distance relationships. You keep me posted on my families health, trials, and precious moments. You have given my family a way to get to know my kids as they grow older, and me to theirs. You have made a connection for me and friends from elementary, junior high and high school. Classmates and teachers alike, which is very cool. You keep safe for me precious things like photos, and memories. A lot of them, and that means a lot to me.

I know some people think ill of you, they say you are too much drama, but honestly, I haven’t experienced that with you. I kind of think those people make their own drama and you are the scapegoat!

You have given me several therapy sessions in which I can vent to you. You keep me connected to lots of events. You have given me hours of entertainment with your stories, apps, and games. You are simply amazing.

So, thank you Facebook, for all the very important things that you do for me and many, many others. We appreciate you!