Monthly Archives: October 2012

So do your boobs!

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When your stomach, butt, and thighs shrink…so do your boobs!

My point is nothing will ever be “perfect”.  There will never be a time when every single aspect in your life is perfectly aligned. There will always be some problem.  When one area in your life is thriving, another will suffer. There will always be something to work on, but you know what….that’s okay.

“Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass… it is about learning to dance in the rain.” ~ Vivanne Grenne

First of all every problem has at least one answer, usually several. The thing is you have to be pr0active about seeking out that answer. I have also been learning that a part of doing all that, is patience. Most often when a problem arises it takes me a whole 5 seconds to think of at least10 ways to solve that problem, so when I am faced with a problem that I can’t instantly see an answer for….I get super upset & frustrated. If I can’t find an immediate answer, I will usually just put it off or occasionally, just give up. However, I have been learning that a big key to all this answer business is having patience and having patience is equal to having faith. You must practice one to practice the other. I’m learning that sometimes the answer is not immediate, but that doesn’t mean that there isn’t one.

“Don’t sweat the small stuff, it’s all small stuff” ~ Zig Ziglar

Secondly, unless your engulfed in flames and also sinking in quicksand… there really isn’t any problem that is too big to handle. I think often times, a problem arises and instantly we get swallowed up by it. All the sudden everything is wrong, everything is worse…… and of course, everything always happens to you.  Pity party for one.  When ultimately if we’d just instantly look for the solution instead of focusing on the problem, it really wouldn’t seem to be that big of a problem at all . But just like with Faith and patience….being able to react like this, also takes practice.

I believe a big part of problem management, minimizing problems and finding problem solutions (here it comes again!!!!) is counting your blessings. When something problematic comes up,  you have to be able to find the ability with in yourself to say ” Self: okay this is not ideal, but I have (fill in the blank) good friends, a significant other, family to help me through it. ” By reminding yourself of all the positive things in your life, it is much easier to confront to bad. Plus, I think keeping a constant count of all our blessings, empowers us. It makes us feel powerful, brave, and hopeful. All great weaponry against problems and negativity.

Try to think of problems are more like puzzles. It makes them seem more fun and less stressful. And try to remember that they will always come, and not just to you….

Remember your boobs might have gotten smaller, but then again so did your stomach, butt and thighs!

 

Don’t get CUT!

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We like someone because, we love someone although.
–Henri de Montherlant

Families are like scissors. They are joined in the middle but often spread wide apart, moving away from each other. When we’re not feeling close to other family members – when it’s hard even to like them – it seems as though we’ll never come together again.

But pity the scrap of paper that comes between our scissor blades! The scissors works together again and slices the trouble clean. When trouble threatens our family, we can slice it through if we move together in love and acceptance.

No matter our small differences, we are part of the same living organism, in a way. The family we live in has been together for many generations, and we are just the most recent members. When we look at one another, we see the products of centuries of love.

When I feel distant from my family, can I locate where we are still joined together?

Isn’t that so true? No matter what happens within families, no matter argument or action: more times than not we eventually are able to forgive and pull back together. I have been seeing this a lot in my life more recently.

Sometimes my brother and I fight, not like bicker about little things but full blown screaming matching filled with unforgettable word daggers. Every time this happens I always tell myself that I’m sick of feeling hurt. That he really doesn’t care or love me and I should cut off all ties. But, even though these thoughts occasionally linger in my heart, within a few days we are right back where we started. No matter our differences of opinion, how we choose to live life, or how we show affection: he is and always will be my brother, and somehow the fact that he can’t change that… is comforting to me.

My father wasn’t around much growing up. Randomly he would pop up but just as fast as he came, he was gone again. I don’t think I ever felt too much anger or resentment toward him, however I just didn’t want much to do with him I eventually became conditioned to just not feel anything in regards to him. Today he and his lovely new wife are coming to visit us, for the second time. While I will never forget my Father’s absence or false hope, I harbor no ill will and look forward to the future because he is and always will be my Dad.

These are just examples of blades split apart for my family scissors, but the bolt or joint in the scissors has always been my Mom. I say this for a couple reasons. In one way she’s the joint because through all the f’d up stuff I’ve been through she has always, always been there to ground me. She’s always been right there to catch me when I fall and she’s always been such a good best friend to keep us connected. In a whole different way my Mom is the joint in our family scissors because the way she chose to raise me, the examples she set for me gave me the ability to easily love unconditionally. She taught me how to forgive and move forward. She raised me to be a good, kind, caring person and all that ultimately gives me the tools I need to connect to all my other family. Because of the person she taught me to be soon I will be able the be the joint. I’ll be the one who holds everyone together.

I wrote a blog awhile back called “A simple recipe for happiness” within that blog I talk about Worshiping your support system. Well remember this: Even if at this very moment you and your brother are not speaking and haven’t in a year…He is still your brother and if you can find the place where you once met, he will in the future be your support system.

Friends and lovers will come and go, but blood is blood. I challenge you to think about your family (your support system) and find the place where you once met. It’s worth it!!!

 

being Perfectly Imperfect

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I do not waste my time striving to be perfect. The term perfect is so very abstract.  What I do aim to do every single day is the be the best me that I can be. I am happy being Perfectly Imperfect! If I didn’t have something to work toward everyday, what would be the point? I think in my addiction,  I was always working toward maintaining two goals: one being getting my poison, the other being able to hide my addiction from everyone. And I was dangerously good at it. I didn’t care about being a better person because inside I felt dead and worthless, and I had already given up on myself. I truly thought that what I was, was as good as I got and that’s how I lived my life.

I was wrong though. I could be a lot better, in fact every single day I can be better than I was before. I can be more patient, kind, generous, productive. I am always striving to improve myself. To be better for myself and those around me.  But, when I am not living up to my full potential I will not be too hard on myself. I will gently analyze the situation, see where there is room for improvement  and then get right back at it.
I will continue to work hard at turning negatives into positives- anger into super-energy- fear into a chance to be courageous-hatred into love and loneliness into trust.

I’m okay with being Perfectly Imperfect.

I’m a Monster!

 

A Simple Recipe for Happiness

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Many people ask me how it is that I stay so happy…after much consideration, I have created  a guide in which I believe to be the answer.

Simple ways to create a happy life.

1) A friend of mine text me a little picture, and he wrote “This reminded me of you”. The little picture read “The happiest people don’t have the best of everything, They just make the best out of everything.” This is first and foremost the essential part of maintaining happiness. I think life is so much more precious when we spend it not wanting, but cherishing what we have. Think about it, when you spend all your time feeling blue because you want this or need a better that, you are disdaining the good things that you all ready have. When you figure out how to stop wanting so much and realize all the amazing blessings that you already have, you’ll find that there is so much more in your life to rejoice about.

2) Worship your support system! There are certain people in my life which I consider to be my “support system”. These rare gems are the people in my life that I can cry on, that check up on me, that call me on my bullshit. I know 110% that these people will be there for me no matter what. I can remember a time when I felt as though I didn’t have much of a support system (although looking back I always did) during this time, I felt worthless, lonely, and hopeless.  But, at this point in my life, I can feel, see, and appreciate my support system and that makes me feel: blessed, validated, lucky and just really really happy. The thing is…. these people are RARE. You may only have one or two of them…..do EVERYTHING in your power to keep them close to you. Everyone needs a support system to have a happy life! Figure out who your support system is and WORSHIP them, always.

3) Count your blessings, all of them, even the teenie tiniest  of them. Did you eat today? Did you sleep in a bed last night? Do you have a job? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you ARE blessed. I actually started keeping a gratitude journal. At the end of each day I start writing any and all the things that happened to me over the course of the day that I felt grateful for, and it was AMAZING! What’s even more crazy is all the little things that happen to us throughout the day that we “should” feel quite grateful for, but just don’t take the time to appreciate it! Start to write down any little thing that you are grateful for today, I’m quite faithful that by the end of it, you will feel a bit more happy and more fulfilled than you did when you started!

4) In the famous words of Janet Jackson “What have you done for me, lately?” But seriously, when was the last time that you did something for someone else, expecting no form of payment? Doing something for someone else…for me, gives me a sense of worth. It makes me feel pride in myself, and it makes me happy to know that I am helping out. So, okay, I guess all in all, maybe it is just out of selfishness, but regardless, finding ways to help others makes me feel super happy. Almost like a natural high. I find often times that when I am going through a rough spot, I can ease it by doing what I can to help others. Maybe it diversion, maybe it goes hand in hand with being grateful but whatever it is….it works! Trust me.

5) Work hard, Play harder.

A) I am so sick of people whining about how their broke, fat, lonely….ect, when these people do NOTHING at all to help themselves! Get a second job, workout, learn to be a better person so you can keep a man!!! My point is, if you are unhappy yet you do nothing to help yourself…you are only going to get more un-happy. Yet, if you pinpoint what it is that is causing your un-happiness and follow through with a plan to correct the issue, what is going to happen is: You will solve your own problem AND you will have UN-knowingly have built up your self respect and self value…which I believe play key parts in inner happiness!

B) While I believe that there is nothing better than putting your nose to grindstone to relieve stress and un-happiness, I also wholeheartedly believe that the secret to happiness is PLAYING. Don’t take things to seriously. Laugh….A LOT. And play every single second you can.

Well, there you have it people, YOU ARE WELCOME! No but seriously, I believe these are simple things that anyone can do, and I also believe these things to be the main ingredients to my happiness. Just be making a few small changes, you could improve the quality of your life…and those around you.
It’s okay to be happy. YOU deserve it!