“ALL GOLD MUST GO THREW FIRE TO BECOME PURE.”
Last night I went to an AA meeting, as I do every Wednesday where my sponsor invited me to participate in a first step meeting, which I hadn’t done in quite some time. For those who have never been associated with AA or NA, ect, a first step meeting happens when there is a brand new person who is attending their very first AA meeting ever. If it is a female, then several women will volunteer to take the newcomer out and share their struggles, strength, and new hope. So, that is what I did. There were about 6 or 7 of us, including the new one. Basically what happens is we all sit in a circle, someone will start speaking. They may start with when they took their first drink and continue on to how they ended up. They may talk about consequences they suffered in their addiction. Friends or family they lost and other things of that nature. Then they will talk about the moment when something finally clicked. They got help, and they will talk about where they are today and the program and people that helped them, or are helping them. These first step meetings are very interesting because you have women at all ages and all at different stages of sobriety and recovery. I think in all the different courses of action regarding my recovery, soaking in other women’s stories, has been one of the most beneficial to me. Anyhow, although I did listen to what all of them had to say…my head was spinning with one main thought. I was just so amazed at the incredible transformation these women are making, and already have made.
These people in recovery, they are no different than any of us. Most people that I know want to change or transform themselves in some aspect. These people who succeed in recovery though…they are HUNGRY! I want more than anything to make these positive changes to make their lives better and will stop at NOTHING to get what they want. Anyone can do this. You don’t need an addiction, or a group meeting. All you need is to know what you want to change about your life. And you need to find that hunger that aches in your belly, constantly reminding you to drive yourself at all cost to get what you want. To know that nothing is too great of cost or too big of task for you to overcome, because you’ll be getting where you want to be.
What or where do you want to be???
I think everything that happens to us negatively, is like a sloppy coat of grey paint just thrown over us from head to toe. This starts at an early age. Every negative comment, lack of attention, every heart ache, every illness, every fear just another coat of dull grey paint. We accumulate so many layers that we start to dry out and slow down, maybe even dry to the place where we stand, enabling us to move forward. These thick, disgusting, dull layers start to form an outer mold of the people are. We see this self image and slowly become that mold. But, we don’t have to….
Each and every single person has the power to transform ourselves into what we want or are supposed to be. I think for me transformation began when I started to take a good long look at my flaws. Not so to beat myself up about, but more to explore. What are my flaws? What caused them? Why did I do them? And, most importantly what could I do to start correcting them. Flaws are God given, but we do not have to act on them. By even starting to get up close and personal with your flaws, accepting them, embracing them, you are already starting to reclaim power, because we are not our flaws! The flaws are merely a product of the paint layers, and we can shed them. Just do not be afraid of the shiny self underneath. Do not be afraid of change or success. Just dig your nails deep within the walls of dull, lifeless paint and start to peel it off.
Peel away all the self doubt you have. Peel off the insults. Tear down the feelings of worthlessness, shame, guilt, the frustration, embarrassment. Dig into the feelings of abandonment and rip it off! And when you are starting to make progress, dig in deeper and shred off all the anger, the loneliness, and hurt. After all this work, you may feel sweaty and exhausted, but….if you honestly do all the above and take a good, deep look at what’s left: You will find the real you. You will find the body that was meant to match your soul. The honest you. The shiny you. The you that is open to new challenges and welcomes change. You will have transformed into something real and beautiful.
Here’s the catch. The ONLY person who can give this amazing gift of transformation to you….is you. This means that you have to lay down ALL your excuses. You have to take action and be responsible for following through with it. You will have to give up all the whining and woe is me B.S. and actually do something….
But I want you to know that I have complete faith in you. Why wouldn’t you want to transform into something FREE? Go out there…Get Shiny. Get to know the real you and fall in love with yourself!