Tag Archives: health

Trust me, I’m the sunscreen.

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Much of the Christmas season is spent worrying over what to buy for your significant other, your kids, relatives, friends, and co-workers. You think and you shop and eventually decide on some sweater that won’t fit next year or a toy that will be forgotten in a months time. I propose a change! This year instead of focusing on Christmas gift let’s focus on New Year’s resolutions.

Think about this: Ultimately the people who really love and/or care about you just want to see you happy and when you really are genuinely happy you spread it to others around you, so don’t think that’s ultimately the best gift you could give to yourself and those who love you?

There are 32 days until next year, that means 32 days of planning to get a fresh start to the new year, to improve the quality of your life, and to map out a plan for happiness. A New Year’s resolution is a commitment that a person makes to one or more personal goals, projects, or the reforming of a habit. A key element to a New Year’s Resolution that sets it apart from other resolutions is that it is made in anticipation of the New Year and new beginnings. People committing themselves to a New Year’s resolution generally plan to do so for the whole following year. This lifestyle change is generally interpreted as advantageous.

You can do fun things to help you prepare for a New Year and a fresh start. One thing I am doing is…

Make a “Future Heather” book. I got this idea from the movie “The last Holiday”. This will be a book composed creatively of things I wish to see or do in the future. I may make a page with photos of Australia because this is somewhere I’d like to go at some point. I may make a page full things I’d like to learn. A page with pictures of a home I’d like to own….You get the idea. This is a fun, creative project that may help you visualize what you want, and if you look at it often, the visualization will spark your brain to do the things you need to do in order to achieve these goals. (Beware… if you happen to cut out a picture of a bride and groom and cut and paste your and someone else’s face, be careful where you leave your book, if that someone see’s their picture pasted over a grooms face, they will probably get super freaked out, and ect…)

There is really no end to the things you could do to prepare yourself to be a more bright and shiny you. You can work out. You can stop smoking. You can change jobs. You can get more education…..but the thing that all those things and endless others, have in common is that any of them will improve the quality of your life, make you healthier, and happier. So, I encourage you to spend more time on this for the next 32 days than you do stressing about shopping. Improving your life WILL benefit   the ones who love you…

And I leave you with this……You’re Welcome!

Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis or reliable then my own meandering experience.  I will dispense this advice….now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind, you won’t understand the power and beauty of your youth until they’ve faded, but trust me in 20 years, you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future, or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.

The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind: the kind that blindsides you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts; don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don’t waste your time on jealousy.  Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind.  The race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive; forget the insults. (if you succeed in doing this, tell me how).

Keep your old love letters; throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life.  The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives; some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of Calcium.  Be kind to your knees — you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t.  Maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t.  Maybe you’ll divorce at 40; maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.

Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself, either.  Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body: use it every way you can.  Don’t be afraid of it or what other people think of it; it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Dance…even if you have no where to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions (even if you don’t follow them).

Do not read beauty magazines; they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents; you never know when they’ll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings: they’re your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but what a precious few should hold on.  Work hard to bridge the gaps and geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.

Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old; and when you do, you’ll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you.  Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse, but you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair or by the time you are 40, it will look like you’re 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it.  Advice is a form of nostalgia; dispensing it is a way of wishing the past from the disposal–wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts, and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me, I’m the sunscreen.

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Fear VS. Heather….

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I have yet to determine the origin of this defect, but I have ALWAYS been afraid to succeed. I am well aware that if I put my mind to something whole-heartedly I would without a doubt soar above expectation. I have always had an UN-shakable optimistic attitude, the skill of connecting with people on an intimate level, and I pick up on things freakishly fast. I have brilliant ideas. The one thing that has always been in my way…..is ME. I have pondered many times where this defect came from but always came up empty handed.

My addiction was the perfect meal for this defect.  I labeled myself an addict, and so to me, I was already worthless. By using I was no good so I automatically had no expectation to live up too. This may have been the cause of me falling some deep.

Now that I have remained sober for quite some time and my head is clear, I enjoy thinking about my defects. Trying to pinpoint them, learn all about them, and then figure out how to improve myself. This is something I would have not dare done during my addiction, for that would have been far to ugly to bare living with. I would have been scared to take such a good, hard look at myself but then again, at that time in my life, everything was too scary. Fear ruled my life. And that is what I want to talk about today, FEAR. During all this self discovery and just from observation it is clear to me that many people, some very close to me, are also living their life in fear. Fear that restricts them from actually living.

Let me give you a little example of how fear was affecting one  aspect of my life. Every single time I got into a relationship the following would happen: After a week or so, I would find myself needing more and more attention. More phone calls and more text messages. I would start to get angry with the other person for not fulfilling my demands. Because of this, the other would start to fill as though they would NEVER be able to satisfy me and then after much fighting, would give up and leave. For along time I thought all this happened because of a flaw I had, that I was Voracious. I even wrote a blog about it, but I was wrong. See what I was doing all this time was being scared. If the other person was constant in contact with me I didn’t have to fear that I was being abandoned. It was never about needing attention or being Voracious, it was about my fear of being abandoned. And, it wasn’t until I met someone that loved me enough to give me patience and teach me to have faith in him, that I realized all that. I ruined countless relationships because of fear.

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.”
Eleanor Roosevelt

Of course the first fear in which one must overcome is being able to take a good, hard look at yourself….on the inside. This may be one of the hardest fears to conquer, as it is difficult to see and accept ones true self. After you are able to do this and you can start to pick apart all your flaws and fears and figure out how to improve yourself and the quality of your life. Here are a few helpful hints:

1. Taking small steps

This is good for fear that can seem overwhelming at first. For instance the strong feeling – it can almost feel like a flight or fight-response – just before doing public speaking or asking someone out for a date. If you’re for instance nervous socially you might not feel able to ask people out on dates right away. The fear of being rejected and that others might think less of you if you get turned down can make many of us feel unable to ask the question.

The solution is to take small steps instead. Steps like first just saying hello to people. Or starting to talk more to people online via forums and Instant Messaging. And then try to be more involved in conversations to exercise your conversation-muscles. I guess one could say that you gradually desensitize yourself to social situations or whatever you are afraid of. Or, seeing it in a more motivating way, building courage and expanding your comfort zone in this part of your life (which is something that often bleeds over to other areas of life too.)

So, identify your fear. Then make a plan with some smaller steps you can take to gradually lessen your discomfort.

2. Getting some concrete, positive motivation

Getting to the stage where you really feel that you need to stop waiting – or need stop reading one personal development book after another – and take action can take some time. One way to get moving is to replace some of your negative thoughts – that creates negative feelings – with clear, positive reasons to get going.

Take 5 minutes. Grab a piece of paper and a pen. Write down all the wonderful ways you can come up with how making this change will improve your life.

Lack of motivation can get you stuck while contemplating how much your life sucks. If you don’t become clear on you motivation it can become hard to get going and knowing why you are actually need to change.

Writing down all the wonderful things you will gain in your life by overcoming this fear can be powerful. Focus on those positive things that get you motivated and inspired. Revisit your page of paper when you feel discouraged, uncomfortable or afraid. Even if it loses it’s inspiring effect gradually, it can be the initial trigger to un-stick you. The spark to get you started to take those first actions that sends you into an upward-spiral of thought and action.

3. Seeing failure and rejection in a new light

Often it’s easier to not do something because we fear failure and rejection. We may fear failure when starting on a new career-path. And rejection from friends, family and the people around us if we fail. Or we might be afraid of being rejected when asking someone out.

However, the definition of failure we are brought up with in society might not be the best and most useful to have. If you look at the most successful people you quickly notice that they have a different response to failure than the more common one.

They don’t take failure or rejection too seriously. They know it’s not the end of the world if they fail. Instead they look at each failure and see the good part about: what they can learn from it and improve next time.

They have an abundance-mentality. They know that if their first business-venture fails it feels like crap for a while but it’s okay in the long run. They learn from it and then they try again.

If they are rejected for a date, do they give up? Probably not. They know that next week or the week after they might find someone else that’s interesting and ask them out. Even better!

The day you learned to ride a bike you fell of it time and time again. But you just brushed yourself of, perhaps cried for minutes or two and then you got up on the bike again. And towards the afternoon, or the next day, you probably started to become pretty good at riding your bike.

The same applies here. You have work on your skills to sharpen them. See failure or rejection not as something incredible negative that might end your life if it strikes. Redefine it in your mind to lessen the negative emotional impact and the fear. See failure simply as feedback on what you need to improve on. Listen to the advice the failure gives you and you will improve. And success will come.

4. Being in the now

What this means is to keep yourself steadily in the now. Not letting your thoughts and emotions run away to the future or the past. That doesn’t mean that you don’t make plans, of course. You might think about asking someone out. You make plans on when to do it or perhaps what to say.

But being in the now means to not get your mind stuck in a kind of psychological and emotional head space that is placed in the past or future. It means not dwelling on what has gone wrong before and what could go wrong tonight or tomorrow. Such thinking will only create and ramp up your fear to the point where you feel unable to do anything. And you just feel like running away.

Instead, make your plans. Then just be and don’t think about the future. Focus on the now and what needs to be done now. The future will be the now soon enough. And when you arrive there it will be much easier to get things done when you have created a minimal amount of stress and fear within your mind.

Whenever you feel fear, your mind is often dragged into a hypothetical, future scenario where you think you might fail. Your brain is over-analyzing a possible situation, which leads for many of us, to a negative, downward spiral of thoughts. This expands and empowers your fear to the point where you become almost paralyzed. So, how do you beat the fear in such situations?

You stop fighting. You surrender.

How to surrender:

Let me explain. By surrender, I don’t mean that you should give up and go home.

Instead, when you feel fear then accept the feeling. Don’t try to fight it or to keep it out (like many of us have learned throughout life).

Say yes to it.

Surrender and let it in.

Observe the feeling in your mind and body without labeling or judging it. If you let it in – for me the feeling then often seems physically locate itself to the middle of my chest – and just observe it for maybe a minute or two something wonderful happens. The feeling just vanishes.

As you surrender to the fear instead of fighting it the negative energy will pass through you and your body will release it. And you can return to focusing on the now once again.

Focusing on the now not only reduces fear but also increases the chances of you succeeding as your mind is focused, your confidence isn’t shattered and your thoughts become clear. It also makes it easier to succeed because when you are in the now you are not that self-conscious – something that quickly can lead to insecurity – but instead focused on the outside world and people you are interacting with.

I highly recommend reading the Power of Now and/or A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle to learn about more practical advice for being in the now. Both books are excellent and have, for me, been extremely revealing and helpful.

5. Redefining you, me and reality

To change yourself and overcoming fear you have to be prepared and willing to redefine yourself.

You have to be willing to try these things out for yourself and keep practicing. No one can do it for you. But if you do that you can make what may seem to you to be big progress pretty quickly. And when you get used to it and these things become more and more habitual you will start to do them naturally.

But since it seems that just about everyone is addicted to their own personality, consistent change in behavior will still probably be kinda slow and gradual.

An addiction to positivity can lessen the fear in your mind of what might happen in a new, unfamiliar situation or how someone might respond to what you are saying. A negative view of the world can create fear and hold you back. But if you, for instance, become more positive many of the people you meet will respond in a similar manner. In general, no matter how you think about the world, people are often like a somewhat of a mirror for you.

Change will be hard if you deep down still think: I am this shy or negative or scared person. “That’s just who I am”, you tell yourself. “Always have been, always will be”. And will be the truth for you as long as you think it’s the truth. If you are prepared and ready to change, you can however rewrite what you perceive as the truth about yourself and your personality, thoughts, actions and emotions.

Something I’ve recently started to think about and apply is what’s called Subjective Reality. Although I don’t fully understand it yet – I think – basically what it means is that there is no separation on the world. There is no you and I separated from each other (like in the more common worldview many of us are accustomed to).

Instead we are one.

You might not fully understand it or internalize it – I haven’t yet – but just going into a conversation with perspective that you and the other(s) are connected and really just one can be very useful.

When you apply this perspective on the world it’s a lot harder feeling fear. Or being mean or unkind. Just like it’s hard to do those things to yourself. Without the perspective of separation it seems like you – almost automatically – become calmer, kinder, less fearful and more open. It feels like you are naturally connected to the rest of the world.

Thought for the day:

What is it that I fear? How is it affecting my life? What holds me back? How can I conquer my fear so I can improve the quality of my life?

 

 

 

So do your boobs!

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When your stomach, butt, and thighs shrink…so do your boobs!

My point is nothing will ever be “perfect”.  There will never be a time when every single aspect in your life is perfectly aligned. There will always be some problem.  When one area in your life is thriving, another will suffer. There will always be something to work on, but you know what….that’s okay.

“Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass… it is about learning to dance in the rain.” ~ Vivanne Grenne

First of all every problem has at least one answer, usually several. The thing is you have to be pr0active about seeking out that answer. I have also been learning that a part of doing all that, is patience. Most often when a problem arises it takes me a whole 5 seconds to think of at least10 ways to solve that problem, so when I am faced with a problem that I can’t instantly see an answer for….I get super upset & frustrated. If I can’t find an immediate answer, I will usually just put it off or occasionally, just give up. However, I have been learning that a big key to all this answer business is having patience and having patience is equal to having faith. You must practice one to practice the other. I’m learning that sometimes the answer is not immediate, but that doesn’t mean that there isn’t one.

“Don’t sweat the small stuff, it’s all small stuff” ~ Zig Ziglar

Secondly, unless your engulfed in flames and also sinking in quicksand… there really isn’t any problem that is too big to handle. I think often times, a problem arises and instantly we get swallowed up by it. All the sudden everything is wrong, everything is worse…… and of course, everything always happens to you.  Pity party for one.  When ultimately if we’d just instantly look for the solution instead of focusing on the problem, it really wouldn’t seem to be that big of a problem at all . But just like with Faith and patience….being able to react like this, also takes practice.

I believe a big part of problem management, minimizing problems and finding problem solutions (here it comes again!!!!) is counting your blessings. When something problematic comes up,  you have to be able to find the ability with in yourself to say ” Self: okay this is not ideal, but I have (fill in the blank) good friends, a significant other, family to help me through it. ” By reminding yourself of all the positive things in your life, it is much easier to confront to bad. Plus, I think keeping a constant count of all our blessings, empowers us. It makes us feel powerful, brave, and hopeful. All great weaponry against problems and negativity.

Try to think of problems are more like puzzles. It makes them seem more fun and less stressful. And try to remember that they will always come, and not just to you….

Remember your boobs might have gotten smaller, but then again so did your stomach, butt and thighs!

 

being Perfectly Imperfect

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I do not waste my time striving to be perfect. The term perfect is so very abstract.  What I do aim to do every single day is the be the best me that I can be. I am happy being Perfectly Imperfect! If I didn’t have something to work toward everyday, what would be the point? I think in my addiction,  I was always working toward maintaining two goals: one being getting my poison, the other being able to hide my addiction from everyone. And I was dangerously good at it. I didn’t care about being a better person because inside I felt dead and worthless, and I had already given up on myself. I truly thought that what I was, was as good as I got and that’s how I lived my life.

I was wrong though. I could be a lot better, in fact every single day I can be better than I was before. I can be more patient, kind, generous, productive. I am always striving to improve myself. To be better for myself and those around me.  But, when I am not living up to my full potential I will not be too hard on myself. I will gently analyze the situation, see where there is room for improvement  and then get right back at it.
I will continue to work hard at turning negatives into positives- anger into super-energy- fear into a chance to be courageous-hatred into love and loneliness into trust.

I’m okay with being Perfectly Imperfect.

I’m a Monster!

 

Cleaning YOUR House!

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“ALL GOLD MUST GO THREW FIRE TO BECOME PURE.”

Last night I went to an AA meeting, as I do every Wednesday where my sponsor invited me to participate in a first step meeting, which I hadn’t done in quite some time. For those who have never been associated with AA or NA, ect, a first step meeting happens when there is a brand new person who is attending their very first AA meeting ever. If it is a female, then several women will volunteer to take the newcomer out and share their struggles, strength, and new hope.  So, that is what I did. There were about 6 or 7 of us, including the new one. Basically what happens is we all sit in a circle, someone will start speaking. They may start with when they took their first drink and continue on to how they ended up. They may talk about consequences they suffered in their addiction. Friends or family they lost and other things of that nature. Then they will talk about the moment when something finally clicked. They got help, and they will talk about where they are today and the program and people that helped them, or are helping them. These first step meetings are very interesting because you have women at all ages and all at different stages of sobriety and recovery. I think in all the different courses of action regarding my recovery, soaking in other women’s stories, has been one of the most beneficial to me. Anyhow, although I did listen to what all of them had to say…my head was spinning with one main thought. I was just so amazed at the incredible transformation these women are making, and already have made.

These people in recovery, they are no different than any of us. Most people that I know want to change or transform themselves in some aspect. These people who succeed in recovery though…they are HUNGRY! I want more than anything to make these positive changes to make their lives better and will stop at NOTHING to get what they want.  Anyone can do this. You don’t need an addiction, or a group meeting. All you need is to know what you want to change about your life. And you need to find that hunger that aches in your belly, constantly reminding you to drive yourself at all cost to get what you want. To know that nothing is too great of cost or too big of task for you to overcome, because you’ll be getting where you want to be.

What or where do you want to be???

I think everything that happens to us negatively, is like a sloppy coat of grey paint just thrown over us from head to toe. This starts at an early age. Every negative comment, lack of attention, every heart ache, every illness, every fear just another coat of dull grey paint. We accumulate so many layers that we start to dry out and slow down, maybe even dry to the place where we stand, enabling us to move forward. These thick, disgusting, dull layers start to form an outer mold of the people are. We see this self image and slowly become that mold. But, we don’t have to….

Each and every single person has the power to transform ourselves into what we want or are supposed to be. I think for me transformation began when I started to take a good long look at my flaws. Not so to beat myself up about, but more to explore. What are my flaws? What caused them? Why did I do them? And, most importantly what could I do to start correcting them. Flaws are God given, but we do not have to act on them. By even starting to get up close and personal with your flaws, accepting them, embracing them, you are already starting to reclaim power, because we are not our flaws! The flaws are merely a product of the paint layers, and we can shed them. Just do not be afraid of the shiny self underneath. Do not be afraid of change or success. Just dig your nails deep within the walls of dull, lifeless paint and start to peel it off.

Peel away all the self doubt you have. Peel off the insults. Tear down the feelings of worthlessness, shame, guilt, the frustration, embarrassment. Dig into the feelings of abandonment and rip it off! And when you are starting to make progress, dig in deeper and shred off all the anger, the loneliness, and hurt. After all this work, you may feel sweaty and exhausted, but….if you honestly do all the above and take a good, deep look at what’s left: You will find the real you. You will find the body that was meant to match your soul. The honest you. The shiny you. The you that is open to new challenges and welcomes change. You will have transformed into something real and beautiful.

Here’s the catch. The ONLY person who can give this amazing gift of transformation to you….is you. This means that you have to lay down ALL your excuses. You have to take action and be responsible for following through with it. You will have to give up all the whining and woe is me B.S. and actually do something….

But I want you to know that I have complete faith in you. Why wouldn’t you want to transform into something FREE? Go out there…Get Shiny. Get to know the real you and fall in love with yourself!

Magical Mind Emulsion

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This morning I was reading a book. “Healing Alternatives for Beginners” by Kay Henrion. The whole second chapter I couldn’t stop thinking about one of my good friend. You see, he has been going through some deep, deep stuff lately emotionally. This has caused his previous medical problems such as severe Anxiety to become much more of a problem for him. The reason I couldn’t stop thinking about him while reading is the second chapter of the book, entitled ” You are special” is all about physical health being linked to emotional heath. See the author believes that our mind, soul, and body are all twisted together and cannot be separated, however she also believes that between the three the mind will always master the body. This made so much sense to me.

Example 1) My friend, insecure, already had problems with socialization & anxiety. He recently was removed from a loved one. I’m guessing he is feeling low self worth, abandonment, loneliness and hurt on top of it all. Because he is constantly focusing on all these bad things in his head, his body is following his mind and his aliments are worse.

Example 2) This was a rough winter for my kiddos. Both of them being in day care they were sick quite often with nasty little colds. I often would start to feel sick, but in my mind and often out loud to co-workers, I would say “I am not going to get sick, I just don’t have the time”, and you know what….I didn’t. My mind willed the sickness away.
The author talks a lot about loving yourself. She believes that if you really love yourself and believe in yourself, you can control your health and well being. Which makes complete sense. Pretty simple. If you love yourself enough to EXPECT that you deserve good things and good health (your spirit) you can think good things into existence (your mind) and then good health and things will come (your body). Isn’t that terribly interesting???

Right along with all that, I have to tell you all that I am SO in love with Aroma Therapy right now. I have for months kept a bottle of  Peppermint Oil at my desk. I use it to get rid of headaches, and it has never done me wrong. Plus, All my co-workers come by when they have headaches too, and again, the Peppermint Oil works like magic! After attending a short workshop two Sundays ago, I learned that I had been carrying around a little bottle of gold! Peppermint Oil is good for so many other things. Things like nausea, energy boosts,  muscle ache relief, cramps, coughs….and so much more. And, that is just one aroma therapy oil, there are tons out there! One or a combination of some for just about any ailment you could think of. I recently found out that Rose Oil helps with Anxiety and PTSD. I just want to learn EVERYTHING about it!!!

Anyhow, the proof is in the pudding, people. Your big ole’ brain really does control EVERYTHING your body does. So, I wish for all of you to love yourselves enough to believe that you deserve good health and all other good things the Universe has to offer you.  I wish for you to first and for most take care of your mind and soul….and then, you will inevitably have good health!

 

Blueprints for a Rainbow.

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If you have been following my blogs, than by now how I feel about energy. For those of you that don’t know…

I believe that everything on earth has it’s own energy.

I believe that energy is transferable.

I believe that you can control your energy.

And, I believe that if you put out good energy into the universe, you will receive good energy back. (Kind of like a Karma thing)

I think I have been in this state of mind most of my adolescence and all my adult life. I pray every night for God to make me better tomorrow than I was today. I ask for God to help me be more patient, more kind, more generous, more compassionate, more productive, and more energetic than I was the day before. This is very important for me due to the fact that I am very blessed. Sure, I have troubles & worries, but every one does. In the grand scheme of things, when it comes down to the most important things in life….I am incredibly blessed. I feel very strongly that it is my engagement with the Universe to give back.

So your can easily see why I have been having a hard time dealing with the fact that I put out so much good energy but often attract negative energy. This dilemma has been really bouncing around the walls of my head and been weighing heavy on my heart. How could this happen? Was I wrong my whole life? Does everything just happen by chance of luck? It was all too much and making my quite blue….

But…. then, like many ” circumstantial ” things in my life, something happened, and suddenly everything made sense again. Last week two good friends of mine (unrelated) where going through some very heavy stuff. I was lucky enough for both of them, individually, to come to me with these hardships they were facing. I had great advise. I stayed involved….and I feel impacted them both. It was then that I realized: Every hardship I have endured during my short 30 years, was all so that I could do what I was designed to do. Which is to help others. Drudging through all the shit in my life, enduring all the mental & physical torture was all a blue print. Involving compassion toward mankind, creative problem solving, and a sympathetic heart that feels others pain.  A blue print to a design of a person that was made to help others.

And you know what…..I’m okay with that. Everything is right in the world, if you just see the other side of your understanding.