Tag Archives: mental-health

Trust me, I’m the sunscreen.


Much of the Christmas season is spent worrying over what to buy for your significant other, your kids, relatives, friends, and co-workers. You think and you shop and eventually decide on some sweater that won’t fit next year or a toy that will be forgotten in a months time. I propose a change! This year instead of focusing on Christmas gift let’s focus on New Year’s resolutions.

Think about this: Ultimately the people who really love and/or care about you just want to see you happy and when you really are genuinely happy you spread it to others around you, so don’t think that’s ultimately the best gift you could give to yourself and those who love you?

There are 32 days until next year, that means 32 days of planning to get a fresh start to the new year, to improve the quality of your life, and to map out a plan for happiness. A New Year’s resolution is a commitment that a person makes to one or more personal goals, projects, or the reforming of a habit. A key element to a New Year’s Resolution that sets it apart from other resolutions is that it is made in anticipation of the New Year and new beginnings. People committing themselves to a New Year’s resolution generally plan to do so for the whole following year. This lifestyle change is generally interpreted as advantageous.

You can do fun things to help you prepare for a New Year and a fresh start. One thing I am doing is…

Make a “Future Heather” book. I got this idea from the movie “The last Holiday”. This will be a book composed creatively of things I wish to see or do in the future. I may make a page with photos of Australia because this is somewhere I’d like to go at some point. I may make a page full things I’d like to learn. A page with pictures of a home I’d like to own….You get the idea. This is a fun, creative project that may help you visualize what you want, and if you look at it often, the visualization will spark your brain to do the things you need to do in order to achieve these goals. (Beware… if you happen to cut out a picture of a bride and groom and cut and paste your and someone else’s face, be careful where you leave your book, if that someone see’s their picture pasted over a grooms face, they will probably get super freaked out, and ect…)

There is really no end to the things you could do to prepare yourself to be a more bright and shiny you. You can work out. You can stop smoking. You can change jobs. You can get more education…..but the thing that all those things and endless others, have in common is that any of them will improve the quality of your life, make you healthier, and happier. So, I encourage you to spend more time on this for the next 32 days than you do stressing about shopping. Improving your life WILL benefit   the ones who love you…

And I leave you with this……You’re Welcome!

Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis or reliable then my own meandering experience.  I will dispense this advice….now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind, you won’t understand the power and beauty of your youth until they’ve faded, but trust me in 20 years, you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future, or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.

The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind: the kind that blindsides you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.


Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts; don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.


Don’t waste your time on jealousy.  Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind.  The race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive; forget the insults. (if you succeed in doing this, tell me how).

Keep your old love letters; throw away your old bank statements.


Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life.  The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives; some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of Calcium.  Be kind to your knees — you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t.  Maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t.  Maybe you’ll divorce at 40; maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.

Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself, either.  Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body: use it every way you can.  Don’t be afraid of it or what other people think of it; it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Dance…even if you have no where to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions (even if you don’t follow them).

Do not read beauty magazines; they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents; you never know when they’ll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings: they’re your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but what a precious few should hold on.  Work hard to bridge the gaps and geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.

Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.


Accept certain inalienable truths: prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old; and when you do, you’ll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you.  Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse, but you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair or by the time you are 40, it will look like you’re 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it.  Advice is a form of nostalgia; dispensing it is a way of wishing the past from the disposal–wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts, and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me, I’m the sunscreen.


being Perfectly Imperfect


I do not waste my time striving to be perfect. The term perfect is so very abstract.  What I do aim to do every single day is the be the best me that I can be. I am happy being Perfectly Imperfect! If I didn’t have something to work toward everyday, what would be the point? I think in my addiction,  I was always working toward maintaining two goals: one being getting my poison, the other being able to hide my addiction from everyone. And I was dangerously good at it. I didn’t care about being a better person because inside I felt dead and worthless, and I had already given up on myself. I truly thought that what I was, was as good as I got and that’s how I lived my life.

I was wrong though. I could be a lot better, in fact every single day I can be better than I was before. I can be more patient, kind, generous, productive. I am always striving to improve myself. To be better for myself and those around me.  But, when I am not living up to my full potential I will not be too hard on myself. I will gently analyze the situation, see where there is room for improvement  and then get right back at it.
I will continue to work hard at turning negatives into positives- anger into super-energy- fear into a chance to be courageous-hatred into love and loneliness into trust.

I’m okay with being Perfectly Imperfect.

I’m a Monster!


Cleaning YOUR House!



Last night I went to an AA meeting, as I do every Wednesday where my sponsor invited me to participate in a first step meeting, which I hadn’t done in quite some time. For those who have never been associated with AA or NA, ect, a first step meeting happens when there is a brand new person who is attending their very first AA meeting ever. If it is a female, then several women will volunteer to take the newcomer out and share their struggles, strength, and new hope.  So, that is what I did. There were about 6 or 7 of us, including the new one. Basically what happens is we all sit in a circle, someone will start speaking. They may start with when they took their first drink and continue on to how they ended up. They may talk about consequences they suffered in their addiction. Friends or family they lost and other things of that nature. Then they will talk about the moment when something finally clicked. They got help, and they will talk about where they are today and the program and people that helped them, or are helping them. These first step meetings are very interesting because you have women at all ages and all at different stages of sobriety and recovery. I think in all the different courses of action regarding my recovery, soaking in other women’s stories, has been one of the most beneficial to me. Anyhow, although I did listen to what all of them had to say…my head was spinning with one main thought. I was just so amazed at the incredible transformation these women are making, and already have made.

These people in recovery, they are no different than any of us. Most people that I know want to change or transform themselves in some aspect. These people who succeed in recovery though…they are HUNGRY! I want more than anything to make these positive changes to make their lives better and will stop at NOTHING to get what they want.  Anyone can do this. You don’t need an addiction, or a group meeting. All you need is to know what you want to change about your life. And you need to find that hunger that aches in your belly, constantly reminding you to drive yourself at all cost to get what you want. To know that nothing is too great of cost or too big of task for you to overcome, because you’ll be getting where you want to be.

What or where do you want to be???

I think everything that happens to us negatively, is like a sloppy coat of grey paint just thrown over us from head to toe. This starts at an early age. Every negative comment, lack of attention, every heart ache, every illness, every fear just another coat of dull grey paint. We accumulate so many layers that we start to dry out and slow down, maybe even dry to the place where we stand, enabling us to move forward. These thick, disgusting, dull layers start to form an outer mold of the people are. We see this self image and slowly become that mold. But, we don’t have to….

Each and every single person has the power to transform ourselves into what we want or are supposed to be. I think for me transformation began when I started to take a good long look at my flaws. Not so to beat myself up about, but more to explore. What are my flaws? What caused them? Why did I do them? And, most importantly what could I do to start correcting them. Flaws are God given, but we do not have to act on them. By even starting to get up close and personal with your flaws, accepting them, embracing them, you are already starting to reclaim power, because we are not our flaws! The flaws are merely a product of the paint layers, and we can shed them. Just do not be afraid of the shiny self underneath. Do not be afraid of change or success. Just dig your nails deep within the walls of dull, lifeless paint and start to peel it off.

Peel away all the self doubt you have. Peel off the insults. Tear down the feelings of worthlessness, shame, guilt, the frustration, embarrassment. Dig into the feelings of abandonment and rip it off! And when you are starting to make progress, dig in deeper and shred off all the anger, the loneliness, and hurt. After all this work, you may feel sweaty and exhausted, but….if you honestly do all the above and take a good, deep look at what’s left: You will find the real you. You will find the body that was meant to match your soul. The honest you. The shiny you. The you that is open to new challenges and welcomes change. You will have transformed into something real and beautiful.

Here’s the catch. The ONLY person who can give this amazing gift of transformation to you….is you. This means that you have to lay down ALL your excuses. You have to take action and be responsible for following through with it. You will have to give up all the whining and woe is me B.S. and actually do something….

But I want you to know that I have complete faith in you. Why wouldn’t you want to transform into something FREE? Go out there…Get Shiny. Get to know the real you and fall in love with yourself!

Magical Mind Emulsion


This morning I was reading a book. “Healing Alternatives for Beginners” by Kay Henrion. The whole second chapter I couldn’t stop thinking about one of my good friend. You see, he has been going through some deep, deep stuff lately emotionally. This has caused his previous medical problems such as severe Anxiety to become much more of a problem for him. The reason I couldn’t stop thinking about him while reading is the second chapter of the book, entitled ” You are special” is all about physical health being linked to emotional heath. See the author believes that our mind, soul, and body are all twisted together and cannot be separated, however she also believes that between the three the mind will always master the body. This made so much sense to me.

Example 1) My friend, insecure, already had problems with socialization & anxiety. He recently was removed from a loved one. I’m guessing he is feeling low self worth, abandonment, loneliness and hurt on top of it all. Because he is constantly focusing on all these bad things in his head, his body is following his mind and his aliments are worse.

Example 2) This was a rough winter for my kiddos. Both of them being in day care they were sick quite often with nasty little colds. I often would start to feel sick, but in my mind and often out loud to co-workers, I would say “I am not going to get sick, I just don’t have the time”, and you know what….I didn’t. My mind willed the sickness away.
The author talks a lot about loving yourself. She believes that if you really love yourself and believe in yourself, you can control your health and well being. Which makes complete sense. Pretty simple. If you love yourself enough to EXPECT that you deserve good things and good health (your spirit) you can think good things into existence (your mind) and then good health and things will come (your body). Isn’t that terribly interesting???

Right along with all that, I have to tell you all that I am SO in love with Aroma Therapy right now. I have for months kept a bottle of  Peppermint Oil at my desk. I use it to get rid of headaches, and it has never done me wrong. Plus, All my co-workers come by when they have headaches too, and again, the Peppermint Oil works like magic! After attending a short workshop two Sundays ago, I learned that I had been carrying around a little bottle of gold! Peppermint Oil is good for so many other things. Things like nausea, energy boosts,  muscle ache relief, cramps, coughs….and so much more. And, that is just one aroma therapy oil, there are tons out there! One or a combination of some for just about any ailment you could think of. I recently found out that Rose Oil helps with Anxiety and PTSD. I just want to learn EVERYTHING about it!!!

Anyhow, the proof is in the pudding, people. Your big ole’ brain really does control EVERYTHING your body does. So, I wish for all of you to love yourselves enough to believe that you deserve good health and all other good things the Universe has to offer you.  I wish for you to first and for most take care of your mind and soul….and then, you will inevitably have good health!


Blueprints for a Rainbow.


If you have been following my blogs, than by now how I feel about energy. For those of you that don’t know…

I believe that everything on earth has it’s own energy.

I believe that energy is transferable.

I believe that you can control your energy.

And, I believe that if you put out good energy into the universe, you will receive good energy back. (Kind of like a Karma thing)

I think I have been in this state of mind most of my adolescence and all my adult life. I pray every night for God to make me better tomorrow than I was today. I ask for God to help me be more patient, more kind, more generous, more compassionate, more productive, and more energetic than I was the day before. This is very important for me due to the fact that I am very blessed. Sure, I have troubles & worries, but every one does. In the grand scheme of things, when it comes down to the most important things in life….I am incredibly blessed. I feel very strongly that it is my engagement with the Universe to give back.

So your can easily see why I have been having a hard time dealing with the fact that I put out so much good energy but often attract negative energy. This dilemma has been really bouncing around the walls of my head and been weighing heavy on my heart. How could this happen? Was I wrong my whole life? Does everything just happen by chance of luck? It was all too much and making my quite blue….

But…. then, like many ” circumstantial ” things in my life, something happened, and suddenly everything made sense again. Last week two good friends of mine (unrelated) where going through some very heavy stuff. I was lucky enough for both of them, individually, to come to me with these hardships they were facing. I had great advise. I stayed involved….and I feel impacted them both. It was then that I realized: Every hardship I have endured during my short 30 years, was all so that I could do what I was designed to do. Which is to help others. Drudging through all the shit in my life, enduring all the mental & physical torture was all a blue print. Involving compassion toward mankind, creative problem solving, and a sympathetic heart that feels others pain.  A blue print to a design of a person that was made to help others.

And you know what…..I’m okay with that. Everything is right in the world, if you just see the other side of your understanding.