I do not waste my time striving to be perfect. The term perfect is so very abstract. What I do aim to do every single day is the be the best me that I can be. I am happy being Perfectly Imperfect! If I didn’t have something to work toward everyday, what would be the point? I think in my addiction, I was always working toward maintaining two goals: one being getting my poison, the other being able to hide my addiction from everyone. And I was dangerously good at it. I didn’t care about being a better person because inside I felt dead and worthless, and I had already given up on myself. I truly thought that what I was, was as good as I got and that’s how I lived my life.
I was wrong though. I could be a lot better, in fact every single day I can be better than I was before. I can be more patient, kind, generous, productive. I am always striving to improve myself. To be better for myself and those around me. But, when I am not living up to my full potential I will not be too hard on myself. I will gently analyze the situation, see where there is room for improvement and then get right back at it.
I will continue to work hard at turning negatives into positives- anger into super-energy- fear into a chance to be courageous-hatred into love and loneliness into trust.
I’m okay with being Perfectly Imperfect.